Feel Bad for the Bully – Why? Bullies usually bully to compensate for deeply-seated insecurities. A gaping hole in themselves, they seek to momentarily fill by exerting power over someone else.
That doesn’t excuse what they do. If you’ve ever been bullied, you know how painful it can be. The fear it instills, and the mental damage it can cause you. But when you can stand back and empathize with the bully when you allow yourself to imagine the horrible situation they may be living in; one that would lead them to act this way, you take back the power. The bully wants confrontation, wants you to be upset. When you deny it and instead react with empathy and kindness the bully is disarmed. Feel bad for the bully and you are empowered.
As the one being bullied, chances are you have people in your life that support you, love you and help you through tough situations. It’s likely the bully is not so fortunate. If so, they wouldn’t resort to bullying in the first place.
Try to empathize; be grateful; use kindness, and maybe soon you’ll be the one who the bully just can’t seem to bully anymore.
Of course every situation is different. Sometimes you need some extra help. If you’re suffering abuse from bully and you don’t have the support you need to deal with it, reach out to Catholic Family Services of Simcoe County. They have a variety of options and programs available to help you, including free drop-in counselling.
P.S. If you’re the bully, stop for a moment and think. Do you really want to keep pushing pain, fear or violence on to others for a brief sense of superiority? How will that better your life? It won’t. If there are things that are hurting you and compelling you to abuse others, reach out to Catholic Family Services of Simcoe County. With a variety of mental health services, they can help you get to the root cause of your behaviour and take steps to deal with your problems in a positive way.