CFSSC Stories: Matt and Sandra – Relationship and Individual Counselling

Matt and Sandra (names have been changed to protect privacy), a young couple in their 20’s attended one of our walk-in clinics looking for help for their relationship.  Together they are parenting two children and Sandra is pregnant.  A year ago, they lost an infant son and they were finding it difficult to get past the wall that had grown up between them since their baby died.

Sandra had decided to move out and was living at her Mom’s place with the children. She had told Matt that they needed to make some changes before she could recommit to the relationship.

Initially they came to CFSSC looking for couples counselling, but after their walk-in appointment it was recommended that Matt attend another walk-in appointment to deal with some of his own issues. These included anger issues related to growing up in an abusive home and an extramarital affair that happened shortly after the loss of their son.

Matt was unsure about whether counselling would be of any use to him, but because he was really committed to Sandra and wanted to make their relationship work, he decided to give it a try.

Through his work with the clinician at CFSSC, Matt began to understand how his childhood experiences, living with his abusive father, had impacted how he deals with his own anger and how this was affecting his relationships.

Matt was also able to explore his sadness and overwhelming sense of powerlessness at the loss of his son.  He acknowledged that the affair was really about him wanting to run away from his grief.  

After attending the walk-in session, Matt provided us with this feedback:

“I am sending this as a thank you for your services.  I met with the counsellor and honestly what a life changing conversation.  I have been in and out of counselling my whole life, I have had bad luck, but honestly no one has ever connected with me on such a level like him.  Not once have I met with a counsellor that has given me so much information to help understand myself as Simon did.  I can call him a life saver, in one conversation he changed my life for the best.”

Matt continues to work with a clinician to work on improving his communication. He and Sandra are back together and they are both working on improving their relationship and Matt is much more aware of how important his role as a father is to their children.

 

CFSSC – Providing help, offering hope and changing lives.

CFSSC’s professionally trained staff work with people when their world has been turned upside down by separation, death, loss, or unexpected illness. Together we develop coping strategies when the depression seems too much to bear, or when it seems that a 25-year long marriage is about to fall apart.

Our staff may be the first to learn about someone’s childhood sexual abuse or how they are themselves being violent towards the ones they love the most.  Our services help people rediscover their strengths and support them as they learn new skills and strategies to make their lives better.  

Catholic Family Services of Simcoe County is a non-profit organization offering professional counselling services and education. Our services are available to everyone living or working in Simcoe County regardless of age, ability, cultural or religious background, race, sexual orientation or gender identity. Find a walk-in clinic open today near you or call for more information (705) 726-2503.